It’s astonishing how easily I can forget to take time to write. Whether it’s for my blog, for my sanity or even just an email. I also forget how great it feels to put a string of words together to express myself. I can only equate it to how you never workout because you simply forget just how good it actually feels to do so. I participated in NaNoWriMo in 2013 for the first time and wrote a staggering 26,000 words - just over 50% of the goal. It felt great, to a point, and I really need to complete that particular project… but I digress. Having been away so long from blogging, I thought I’d recapped the plan for last year and take stock in what my swiss-cheesery of a memory deems as highlights.
LAST NEW YEAR: “So here we are, January 2013, and I have decided that rather than make resolutions, I will state a few things that I don’t want to do this year – some I truly hope not to happen, others I think that if I fail at them, it will be a good thing. Here goes: I’m not looking for a relationship, I don’t want to torture myself trying to quit smoking, I don’t want to keep feeling useless and afraid of myself, I don’t want to get fatter, I don’t want to be destitute and wonder when my next meal will be or where I will live. I won’t go off my meds because I forget or think I am better without, I will try not to sweat the small stuff, and I’ll try not to forget about consequences and what leads to them. I don’t want to miss out on family gatherings, I will not rely on others for my well-being, I won’t overwhelm myself with tasks and impossible goals and I won’t forget that I am only human.” All in all, not too shabby since I am still not in a relationship, I quit smoking in May and I lost 30 pounds. Granted New Year 2014 seemed to be a total reversal of most of these as I am smoking again and have gained back all the weight I lost plus some. I am however, still trying to better myself – probably more so now than ever.
SEP 2013: My 37th birthday came around and I had lost 30 pounds since May and felt so good that I decided to celebrate by having my 27th birthday. I instagrammed pix of my pink and purple “27” candles on the vegan chocolate cake I made for myself (disgusting by the way). Once it was on Instagram and Facebook, it became true, since you can’t put things on the internet if they aren’t true.
OCT 2013: I dressed as Supergirl (Superman’s cousin) for Halloween and felt awesome. The subsequent candy feast however, lead to a downward spiral I wasn’t expecting. Flash forward to Thanksgiving and the Holiday overeating season.
NOV 2013: Time was running out on my State Disability; you can only get Disability in California for one year. I was unsure what would happen to me financially when that took place. It was during this time that I had finally decided that I had to give up my therapy dog (for mounting reasons) and I delivered her to her new home the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Depression over “losing” Kona may have aided in my nutritional demise.
DEC 2013: As luck would have it, after waiting 6 years for the *correct* rating percentage of disability from the VA, I was finally granted 100% and I could not believe how great the timing was.
JAN 2014: I started going to Los Angeles more and more, as I made plans to move back there when our lease in Helendale was over. I met a comedian friend of a friend and he informed me he was subletting his roommate’s room while he was on tour. I jumped at the chance. I started doing stand-up at open mics and was thrilled by the rush.
FEB 2014: I moved into a furnished place and started “kind of” looking for places to call my own in West Hollywood. I was going to The Comedy Store every night and loving it. I started to seriously consider that I was on a path to alcoholism as well as becoming a comic.
MAR 2014: I had very little time, as the Helendale lease was almost up, to pack and get all my things into storage, since I couldn’t bring them to the apartment I was staying at.
APR 2014: Realized how fast time was flying and started to buckle down on finding a place.
MAY 2014: I had until the end of the month to find a place and I was getting worried as the rejection calls were coming in based on my credit. I was accepted at two places: one a shit hole that was close to West Hollywood and one several blocks east more in Hollywood proper/Los Angeles. I took the farther one as it seemed a much nicer place and somewhere I might be able to call home. With the stress of moving I stopped doing open mics for a while.
JUN 2014: June flew by in a tizzy of cardboard boxes and first-time adult purchases of major appliances… for the kitchen! What were you thinking?! It feels so strange having my very own refrigerator.
JUL 2014: So here we are and I’m currently sitting on a plane to Houston to celebrate my friend’s husband’s 50th birthday. It stirs an odd emotion inside me as I ponder the possibilities of that very same celebration in my life, which seems not long off (but kind of is). As soon as I get back from Texas I’m on a flight to New York to go to my hometown of Saratoga Springs for my 20th High School Reunion. Why didn’t I think to invite John Cusack as my date since I am still single and have no kids? At the very least, I’ll be sure to bring a pen.